ME, MySeLF n I…

aloha…i’m back ere. tonite i wanna talk how mad i am to da hospital putrajaya.. govt hospital which i think supposedly give da best service to public. i had admitted ward on 30th oct. da nurses had taken my BP n blood sample. i had sign da consent form. but suddenly..at 5pm da doc told me that my opt have to postpone to a new date which me myself dunno yet. n i was like..WUTTTTT???!!! postpone again..??!! how could they do this to me. wiv a reason da equipment is broken..but i doubt it. my instinct just said something is not right. bcoz this is actually da 3rd time they have postponed my case. it’s not that i am excited to do it..giler ke! but i just want to get over it soon coz i dun wanna think bout this anymore. selagi aku tak buat..mcm2 benda aku pikir..mcm2 yg aku imagine kan.. n eventually it’s psiko’ing me.. n plus..i hv to keep on mentioning to my boss to cancel my MC.. i’m afraid she might think that i am juz creating reason..well, we never know wut is in other ppl’s mind..but at da same time..tak baik gak kalo aku buruk sangka kan.. eish..eish.. aida stop it..! n me also pity to my parent. they had to travel all da way from jb but suddenly CANCEL!!! luckily my mom was there when da doc told me that they have to cancel my op. to me, once we paid 4 da equip n da date has fixed..da supplier supposedly get ready n make sure da equip is well maintained. n now..aku dah malas nk pikir.. lantak la..nk op ke tak ker… i won’t call them..but if until end of this month i don’t get any date.. i just want refund n do somewhere else. to all my dear friends in ministry of health.. please take note to this kinda cases. i think this will give bad image n tarnish da reputation of govt hospital…hope it won’t happen to anyone else…

fuuuyyyoooo!!!!!!!! this wiken mmg best la.. on saturday..i went to 4 open houses..mmg hari makan2 sedunia la…kenyang sgt..silap ari bulan..mmg naik la berat badan aku ni kan. since noon till midnite. dah la penat gi sana sini kan.. bbuuurrrpppp!!! ooppss..sori. hehehe! alhamdulillah. pastuh ingatkan nak main futsal. dorg ni beriya jek janji. tp brapa kerat jek yang datang. last2 ktorg cancel jek. dah la aku baru berangan nak main 4 da last time b4 aku kena rest panjang kan.. huhuhuhu!!!!

n today..i went 4 a movie wiv emma. we went to 1 Utama n watched 1957:Hati Malaya directed by Shuhaimi Baba.. n i think i wanna give 4 stars 4 dat movie. it is totally different from other independence movie i ever watched b4. no wars at all. but it doesn’t mean da previous is not gud. it is just this is something new. 2 thumbs up to shuhaimi.. n also to all da actors in that movie. i juz loved da character of dato’ onn jaafar n tunku abdul rahman. to me da actor had successfully bring it on. after dat, me n emma jln2 cuci mata kat OU tuh.. at da same time, both of us bought something. i bought a new cardigan n emma bought a new dress. chantek dress tuh. hahaha!! we just love shopping.. mommy!!! help me.. i can’t stop shopping now.. hehhehe… ok la..got to stop ere.. esk nk gi keje.. hope 4 da best 4 this coming days..

arggghhhh!!!!! i just cannot take it anymore..sakit ati n sakit otak la layan orang cam tuh. i’m not happy wiv my situation now. i lost my gud team.. n i miss them n gonna miss them much soon. aku rasa cam kena ikat skarang. kuat sgt smpi aku rasa lemas n rimas. i lost my freedom. i lost my voice..i can’t work wiv this kind of person. can i cry..??!! am i a loser if i cry?? am i not tough enuf to be in this situation?? i dunno.. if i hv a chance.. i wanna be at other desk. tp..when we look at da bright side.. i know, this is a gud experience to me. it taught me how to handle my anger n how to remain calm..tp bile tgh kena macam2 tuh..terbakar gak la kan. sabar jek la aida.. i just feel like i wanna talk to someone right now. but then.. *sigh* .. x pe la.. hoping 4 a better day tomoro n da following days.. InsyaAllah…

raya datang lagi.. tahun ni aku rasa cam best sket la. on 1st day raya..me n all my family wore purple n we went to kedai 4 family photo lepas sesi airmata di pagi Syawal. hehehe..sniri mau ingat aaaa…. kalo dulu ada 6 org..ni tambah lak 4 org..dah makin ramai..tp sayang sgt..on 1st n 2nd raya..aku tak sedap badan. cam nk demam jek rasa n pening2.tp tahan jek la kan. dlm keta mmg tido sepanjang jalan laa kan. this year sambut kat jb dulu baru balik kg kat muar. balik kg pon kejap jek..tp smpi sana jek terus tido..btol2 tak larat sgt. 2nd day raya pon berjalan smpi midnite. perghh.. giler penat! skang ni tgk kuih raya pon dah bosan. banyak sgt makan.. hehehe!! silap ari bulan.. naik berat badan aku ni. alhamdulillah..i managed to see my old friends.. rindu gilerrr kat dieorang ni. e’tho ada yg keje kat kl.. susah nk jmp kan. kalo dah lama tak jmp tuh.. mcm2 citer la keluar. n yg paling best..kiterorg ni kalo dah jmp mmg bisinggg sgt.. hehehe! n aku nk wish congartulation kat eva on her engagement. mak aiii…grand sgt majlis dia. dah macam nak nikah.. nway, i’m happy 4 u eva.. wish u happy eternity..dah la lambat gerak balik frm jb. nk kena sampai umah eva dlm kul 4pm..mmg aku pecut gilerrr la. sori mak!! terpaksa..hehehe!! n tomoro aku dah start keje..wah! keje ari ahad.. dah lama tak buat. kalo time kat karangkraf..ari ahad tuh kekadang rasa cam ari biasa jek. i’m going to penang 4 site inspection. alang2 tuh..cuti2 mesia la kan.. dah la aku dah lama tak bercuti. hehehe!! bestnyer! BUT… at da same time.. aku nyer nervous makin laju..i’m counting days now.. i really hope i can go through it. insyaAllah…semoga semua berjalan lancar. erm..ada seminggu lebih jek lagi b4 i admitted ward. hanya doa dari kawan2 dan keluarga yg aku harapkan. ok la..b4 i end my raya story..i wanna wish to all of my friends n foe.. Selamat Hari Raya Aidilfitri.. Maaf Zahir Batin.. let bygone be bygone.. semua yg terjadi pasti ada hikmah kan.. kawan2 lama yg dah lama aku tak contact tu..sori byk2 k.. harap2 pasni korang contact la aku balik k.. n yg penting skali.. to mama Shidah..aku doakan ko selamat bersalin.. u n Shahrin hv been a gud fren to me.. thanx guys..

adusss.. pagi ni baru aku tersedar yg aku dah spend byk 4 this coming raya.. ffuuuhh!!! alamak..tetiba nk pengsan. ahahha!! but, it’s ok.. aku ni kalo shopping bukan la every year kan.. ikut mood. cam last year tak de mood nk shopping, this year aku balun la.. lgpon bile shopping time mood tgh ting tong..n sengal..mmg la best..cam layan jek bile amek2 barang kan..hahaha!! n maybe next year aku rilekss lak. that’s me. terpaksalah aku ikat perut this year. hehe..

apa yg korang akan rasa bile kena buat benda yg korang tak suka..?? sure la lemau semacam kan. that’s wut happened to me. day by day.. aku rasa malasssss sgt nk pi ofis skang ni. kalo bukan sebab aku ada ofismate yg best..aku rasa mmg aku buat hal jugak kot. hehe.. tah la.. i like to do things that i like. kalo aku tak suka.. mmg susah aku nk perform. n kekadang tuh aku terpikir, kenapa la dorg ni tak letakkan pekerja tuh based on their interest n education bground.. rugi kan kalo dah blaja cam org gilerrrr at least for 5 years n yet u can’t utilize da knowledge that u have. n slowly..kiter sniri akan jd demotivated kan. mmg la akan ada certain people yg ckp..we hv to get out from our comfort zone.. we hv to do or try something else which is out of our area..well, i dun give a damn la. i’m not u n u r not me.. i am wut i am. but then again..welcome to da real world.. u won’t get everything u wish for.. kena la blaja menerima seadanya kan.. maybe dah rezeki aku kat sini n buat benda ni. i juz hope i can deliver da best tho i know till now i am not yet.

dah setahun aku keje kat sini..tak sempat nk fully master wat unit sblom ni, aku dah kena tukar unit lak. n tetiba pagi ni aku terpikir.. wut i want in this service..?? apa aku akan jadi in coming 5-10 years..?? b4 this..i do hv dreams..wut i wanna be..how am i going to get it.. but now.. i juz dunno. arrrggghhh!!!!! dah la tuh..dpt bos yg mmg suka mengampu..to me, if u r good..u dun hv to try so hard coz it will naturally comes out from u. it’s true that we hv to pleased our bosses..tp tak yah la smpi nk air cond.. got limit maa… tp biaq pi la…

nway..selamat hari raya aidil fitri.. i hv this kinda mix of feeling.. happy (of course la..), sedih sket..terharu..sebak..sume ada la.. 25 tahun hidup kat dunia ni…apa yg aku dah dapat..?? apa yg aku dah buat..?? erm..